Translating Male Speak
By Catherine Mann & Joanne Rock

Puzzled by hero talk?  Need a codebook for deciphering masculine dialogue?  Not to worry, series romance authors Catherine Mann and Joanne Rock have waded into the male mind and over uncharted bad boy terrain for the sake of their stories.  They've returned with these bits of wisdom to help you comprehend guy-speak-and lack thereof...

10.  Yeah, babe, I'd love to go the opera (or ballet, or tea room, or clothes shopping...). Translation:  I want out of the doghouse. (married guy) OR I want to get in your bed. (single guy)

9.  Of course that looks great on you. 
Translation: God, please don't let her ask me if it looks better than what she was wearing yesterday because I can't frigging remember. OR God, please don't let her realize I was actually picturing her without it or I will have sat through the frigging opera for nothing. 

8.  Absence of comment.
Translation:  He either has no clue how to respond or else he's certain any response he gives will result in lengthy argument. 

7.  Series of unintelligible grunts.
Translation: This cryptic response means he has no clue how to respond, knows any response given will result in lengthy argument, but he's been pressed to the wall for comment.

6.  Damn.
Translation:  Popular catchall phrase for moments of frustration, surprise, agreement and lust. 

5.  Damn.  Damn.  Damn.
Translation: All of the above sentiments taken to a greater degree. 

4.  Hoo-yah, oo-rah and other nonsensical syllables strung together while his fist punches the air or he bumps puffed chests with another male.
Translation: Masculine version of a yippee squeal and dance, but don't let them know that's what we're really envisioning or we'll be robbing them of a much-loved macho rebel yell.

3.  That hurt a little.
Translation:  I'm spurting blood from a major artery, so could you call 911?  But don't give 'em my name because I don't want anyone to think I'm a wuss.

2.  I'm dying here.
Translation:  He's feeling VERY healthy at the moment and wants you more than air.

1.  How do I like your highlights?  What the hell are highlights?
Translation:  You look gorgeous in his eyes and all he knows is that he's lucky to be the man who gets to wake up next to you.


Look for heroes to win your heart in Intimate Moments books by Catherine Mann (PRIVATE MANEUVERS 6/03 with more "Wingmen Warriors" on the horizon), and Blaze and Temptation books by Joanne Rock (REVEALED, 3/03, and the upcoming "Single in South Beach" series).  Happy deciphering!

Used with permission from author and newsletter.  The following article appeared in the Jasmine, the Lowcountry RWA  Chapter newsletter. 

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